Vervain Laced Pain
by November Fatale
Summary: Damon's thoughts at getting his heart stabbed at twice. Rejection, rejection. Damon's musings once again on another incident after the Founder's Day kiss.
1. Chapter 1: Burning In My Bloodstream

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries and it's respectable characters in anyway, nor the t.v. series or the book series. L.J. Smith and the creators of the show do. **_

**_Summary: Damon's thought's in the incident of The Return._**

**_Author's Note: I originally had the Katherine scene in here but I took it out. Maybe I will publish it on here on the side? Who knows. Anyways I hope you like this and I just had to write it, I'd been listening to the song and I had to write something...I found the scene so sad! I feel bad for Damon and Elena. Poor Damon has had his heart stabbed twice! Obviously he was bound to lash out in an attempt to find solace, remember his emotions are intensified as a Vampire, his actions were not acceptable but he was pressed with so much pain and hurt it clouded everything.  
_**

**_Anyways! I hope you enjoy the reading this I had really got into or immersed myself in this. I actually began to relive or 'resee' (it I mean.) this scene again._**

**_P.S This is best listened to with Come Home by One Republic featuring Sara Bareilles.  
_**

* * *

Damon stared into the blazing fire in front of him, the embers creating a soft dim glow.

As he sat there and stared into the fire blazing in the cool stone fireplace, pain consumed his interior. The pain and hurt was cancerous in his immortal body.

He wished he could salve the hugely tremendous wound inside of him that grew larger, manifested further inside as the minutes went by. The wound seemed to be coupled with a burning sensation that filtered into his bloodstream; the distinct burning sensation was akin to the feeling of Vervain inside of him.

He was broken inside, his silent heart shattered like the remains of the crystal liquor glass that he had vaulted at the fireplace's walls minutes ago. At this point Damon doubted he could pick up the fragments of himself that reflected into the remains of the crystal goblet.

He was unwanted, hated, he was _alone_.

_Rejected_, Katherine had toyed with him again. Damon had fallen into one of her traps, her games and subjected, submitted to her. Letting himself become that vulnerable feeling person with her, not thinking about the consequences, the possibilities of getting burned.

She had uttered words that made something inside of him shatter, he felt even now.

_**The truth is…I never loved you. **_

_**It was always Stefan. **_

It had always been his little brother. Damon had only been her tools of pleasure, something to play with. Stefan had garnered Katherine's affections even if he didn't want them now. Even if he had someone better, someone unlike that selfish, manipulative bitch.

He had _Elena._

What's worse is that Katherine had spoke those words with a blank expression, unfeeling even. She had said those words as if it didn't matter. What served only to make things far worse is that she hadn't even dealt the worse damage. Sure she had dealt out a great deal of damage but the second time pained him the most.

It was all he could really think about, the most he could think about.

His mind unwilling replayed the events, that defining moment.

* * *

_He heard her clattering around in the next room, conjoined to her bedroom. Damon didn't even make a gesture or effort to move from his spot from the bed. _

_He kept staring at something far away, wallowing in his sadness and pain. _

_Footsteps drifted to his sensitive ears however he didn't look up. _

_Damon heard her stop and a gasp escape her lips as shock and relief laced her tone. "Oh god…You scared me." A rush of air emitted from her lips. _

_Damon glanced at her briefly, seeing her clutching the dark sweater in her right hand. _

_Sluggishly he turned back, looking at the wall blankly. "Just doing my part, in the neighborhood watch."_

_Elena passed him and another sigh left her lips, sincerely she replied back to him "Thanks…for um…looking out for us, for me."_

_With his eyes still locked onto that spot on the wall as he spoke to her, a tiny bit of sarcasm seeping into his already slurred, emotionless tone, a soft gush of air leaving his lips. "That's me, the trusty body guard…calm in a crisis." Damon lifted his arm and sluggishly swept his hand out. _

_Questioningly Elena answered back sounding concerned. "Have you been drinking?" _

_Damon glanced up to her lazily and with drunken movements he lifted a hand sluggishly and pinched his thumb and fore finger together as his eyes lazily began to half lid and close momentarily as his lips pursed. He was trying to convey the message of 'just a little' to her. _

_His hand slumped down onto his knee as he looked away. _

_Elena spoke again sounding even more concerned. "And you're upset. That's not a good combination."_

_Damon groaned and rolled his eyes briefly as he spoke his words slurred further. "No I'm not upset; upset is an emotion specific to those who care." _

_Elena sounded as if she doubted that statement, incredulity was evident in her tone. "C'mon Damon. That's a lie, you care." She sent him a knowing look._

_Instantly at the sound of those words he found himself sobering up, anger striking him, entering his body. He looked at her with narrowed eyes and anger clouded features, his lips parted as his jaw set in defiance._

_Elena's eyebrows furrowed slightly at his expression. _

_He couldn't believe she had just spouted that, tried to sell him that spiel. He wasn't the liar in here; he wasn't the one who denied what was going on between the two of them._

_He knew as he spoke anger colored his tone. "You're surprised that I thought you would kiss me back? You can't imagine that I'd believe you'd want to?"_

_He could hear the slight pleading in her tone as she interjected with a warning using only his name. "Damon." He wouldn't have any of it; he was going to say what he wanted to. She need to get over this denial phase of hers, wake up and smell the coffee. It hurt him every time she denied it, or ignored what was going on between them, especially when she __**lied**__ about it.  
_

_Damon couldn't put up with the hurt that the touchy, couple moments between her and his brother wreaked on him any longer, he couldn't take another minute of her denying over and over again what was happening right __**now**__. _

_Somewhere in the recesses of his mind in a dark, dark and deep corner he knew he should just leave now, because this whole situation was unstable…anything could happen at this point and he'd rather it be not something he would regret._

_Damon's anger was building up quickly; he felt it warming his blood as he continued. "That what we've been doing here means something?" He paused and took in her expression, her infuriating expression of disbelief and shock at the intensity of his words. _

_Venom filled laced his tone as his anger started to overflow and his body craved an output for his frustration. His anger filled expression deepened. "You're the liar Elena." _

_Her face tilted in disbelief and some irritating expression he couldn't bother to name. "There is something going on here between the two of us and you know it." _

_He arose from his sitting position his blood boiling and he desperately needed to tell her, convey to her to believe, to stop denying what was going on between them. She backed away with every step he took as vulnerability glimmered in his eyes. "And you're lying to me and you're lying to Stefan and most of all you're lying to yourself." _

_Elena looked doubtful, the expression only urged him on to prove it to her. He quelled the anger in his tone as he softly spoke to her. "I can prove it." _

_With a shift of his foot he neared her form and cupped the back of her head, __A quick "No" passed her lips sharply._

_Swiftly he captured her lips. His eyes closed as he felt bliss of his lips on hers, this is what it should have felt like, this feeling in him was more intense than it had been on the porch with __**her**__ doppel ganger. He was getting too emotional, too attached._

_Everything was changing right there, a fiery emotion punched him in the gut but he ignored the sensation. The feelings he already had for her were growing stronger, he could feel it._

_The only thing he needed from Elena was for her to kiss him back. _

_To admit that she felt something, to even discard the shield of denial. _

_Elena protested and murmured out a quick "No." it only sounded muffled against their joined lips._

_Her hands brushed Damon's faced, grasped his hands trying to pull them away from her. She looked for another opening and slid her hands under Damon's chin, keeping it there as she tried to convey him to stop. _

_When Damon pulled away a mixture between a sigh and soft breath passed his lips. He could only stare into her warm, chocolate brown eyes and get lost in them until her voice dragged him out of that trance. With a concerned expression with mingled hints of shock she answered him back; her voice showed him her concern and shock. "Damon don't, what's wrong with you?" Her hand still rested at the base of his neck, underneath his chin._

_His hands lifted and slid into her tresses again, planted gently at the sides of her head. _

_He wouldn't have her deny the kiss, he needed her to accept this, accept the fact that she had feelings for him, more than friendly feelings. He simply uttered as he leaned in again. "Lie about this." _

_Elena stopped him and leant back, she spoke in a rush, pleading and anxious. "Stop it, you're better than this. Come on." _

_She was denying it and Damon wouldn't have it, he'd show her, convince her into accepting and to stop lying to herself. "That's where you're wrong." He leaned again, coming so close._

_Yet Elena intercepted it with moving her head back and placing her hand on Damon's mouth gently as the other free hand gripped his shoulder pushing him back. Elena pleaded further. "No, no, Damon. I care about you." His hand rested against her neck, weaving into her hair. _

_She grabbed his hands keeping them in place but wrapping her fingers intricately through his as both their heads tilted slightly. "Listen to me, I care about you." Her voice grew more insistent. _

_She continued on as Damon curled his fingers to wrap around hers as he hugged them against him by just a little. "I do but…I love Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan." She pleaded with him, concern filling her eyes she was trying to get him to realize that but he only broke inside further, the pain he felt was worse this time. _

_He felt his face contort into an angry, hurt filled expression._

_He was alone, unwanted. _

_Everyone wanted __**Stefan**__. _

_No one wanted __**Damon**__._

_Suddenly Jeremy's wondering tone reached his ears and he turned to look at the sullen and slightly drowsy Gilbert. "Elena what's going on in here?" With crossed arms he entered the room look wary._

_Elena roughly extracted her hands from his and looked away while answering Jeremy's question. "Nothing Jeremy, its okay just go back to bed." She ran her fingers through her hair._

_Damon felt an strong impulse to vent his frustrations and as he saw the glint of a ring and recognized the familiar intricate symbols etched and embellished into it, he had found his outlet. _

_He had lost control, his head clouded with pain, sadness, hurt and something inside of him was shattered. He knew though about what he was going to do, he was going to lash out on the poor kid. "No, it's not okay Elena. He wants to be a vampire."_

_As Jeremy tilted his head in wary question he felt that last of his control slip away. In a blur he had Jeremy pinned against the wall, one hand cradling the side of his head and the other hand around his throat as he struggled futilely._

"_No Damon don't! Stop it!" He ignored Elena's pleading and focused on what was happening in front of him. _

_Every word he spoke grew more intense, he bit it out more and he only seethed more. "You want to shut out the pain? It's the easiest thing in the word, all you have to is flip the switch and…__**snap**__" As he spoke the last word a sickening snap resonated off the walls. _

"_Damon!" Jeremy's limp body dropped to the ground with a thump._

"_No!" Elena fell to her knees onto the ground as she cried out. _

_As Damon backed away everything quieted to his ears, all he could see was Elena's grief stricken face. _

_Ragged, strained sobs left her emitted, from her as breathy gasps and unspilled tears graced her. _

_She looked up at him as he passed the door frame. _

_In her eyes, hurt, betrayal and then he saw the stirrings of disgust and hate in her eyes._

_**Regret**__, he felt it hit him full force. _

_He had done the wrong thing. _

_Damon quickly left, the last look she had given him etched into his mind. _

_

* * *

_Damon covered his face with his hand.

It had been bad judgment on his part, _extremely_ bad judgment.

He had hurt her and he hurt just knowing that fact.

He knew she must probably hate him now.

How could she forgive him now, he didn't even think he would forgive himself.

In a bout of anger he had done something so stupid, so childish…but those word's she had said were practically identical to Katherine's. Elena had wounded him the most.

_**I love Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan**_

A groan of frustration passed his lips.

_Stefan, Stefan, Stefan, Stefan!_

_Am I to be alone for the rest of eternity?_

_Stefan will always have someone, who will I have?_

_All I want is __**Elena**__ right now. _

The pain rushed into him again, he stiffened as it consumed him hopelessly.

_But she doesn't want me._

_She wants Stefan._

_And I've just royally screwed up this time, royally. _

_I can't take this anymore, this pain, this hurt, this turmoil. _

_The switch, I need to flip it right now. _

_It'll be better this way._

With quick ease he flipped the 'switch' inside of him and as he looked into the blazing fire everything melted away and he welcomed the emptiness enveloping him.

The pain laced with what felt like the burning of a drop of Vervain dissipated.

For now he would stay like this, it was for the best.

* * *

_**Author's note: I hope you liked it!**_

_**P.S. I hope anyone isn't out of character in here, especially Damon!**_

_**Should I write another chapter with Elena's point of view or should I do both or even just post the Katherine segment I cut out?**_


	2. Chapter 2: Love Hurts

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries and it's respectable characters in anyway, nor the t.v. series or the book series. L.J. Smith and the creators of the show do. **_

**_Summary: Damon's thought's along with the others in the incident of The Return._**

**_Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this! I also hope Elena is too out of character. -cringes- Anyways on with it, this chapter is best listened to with...whatever sad(esque) song you want! Also whoa, episode two Damon got his handed to him a few times there! Poor Damon has it hard, and I feel bad for Elena as well and also poor Bonnie, the guy she took an interest in...well you know what...I wont say much in case a few of you haven't seen it yet!_**

**_Also note that this chapter is named after the Incubus song Love Hurts! (I am really enjoying this track of theirs.)  
_**

**_Anyways hope this chapter is good! _**

* * *

In the darkness of her room, through closed windows she gazed into the darkness. She was unable to sleep properly. Elena had undergone bouts and patterns of falling asleep only to be awoken shortly and frankly she was tired of it.

She knew why she couldn't sleep why she was being such an 'insomniac' It was all because of Damon Salvatore and what he had done to hurt her, to scare her even in the slightest, to make her feel things she didn't want to, things she _shouldn't_ feel.

As she gazed up to the ceiling with shaky breaths and pain and sadness manifesting from her core she found the memory creeped up upon her unwillingly.

* * *

_Elena fiddled with the small items she haphazardly strewn along the side of the ledge connected to the counter. Adamantly she folded the sweater she clutched in her hand._

_With a sigh she set down the folded article of clothing roughly._

_Her eyes lifted to gaze at her reflection. _

_The girl that stared back at her reflected how tiring today's ordeals were weighing down on her, how much the new information she had processed through out the days progression had worn on her. She felt like things were slowly, little be little, stitch by stitch falling apart by the seams. She didn't know what to do anymore, everything was shaking out of control. _

_A girl identical to her stared back at her, her hair was slightly in disarray. She spotted dark circles on the skin below her lashes forming slowly; exhaustion and slight hints of sort of concealed anxiety filled and etched themselves in the planes of Elena's face. _

_In her eyes she could even see the tiredness, she physically felt. _

_She looked so identical to her but yet she was different at the same time. _

_Looking down, Elena retrieved her sweater and walked out of the bathroom; her eyes were downcast._

_As soon as her eyes caught the dark figure, slumped into a sitting position at the foot of her bed, her heart almost restarted at the abrupt shock. _

_Her fingers tightened their grip on the dark material she had held in her hand minutes ago and her voice poured from her parted lips with hints of shock and surprise mingling within them. "Oh god…you scared me." She uttered. _

_There before her was Damon looking dejected and broken, hurt or filled with a great pain. She hadn't seen him like this since the day when they opened the tomb to reveal Katherine wasn't residing in the confines of it. When he had finally found out she was roaming free in the world. This time was almost like this, more likely worse. _

_Her heart tugged at the poor, broken, sad sight of him. She wanted to comfort him but didn't know how to at the moment. _

_Damon's gaze was trained on somewhere faraway, even the wall somewhere lost in the depths of it as if he was searching for something. His voice was sadly emotionless. "Just doing my part, in the neighborhood watch."_

_Before she moved from her current position she took him in, the sad sight of him. His hair looked mussed and rumpled, as were his clothes but only by a minuscule amount. _

_When she was done assessing him she crossed over to the other side of the bed. _

_As she went by him air soundly left her lips. Elena softly placed the material somewhere on the side of the room and turned back to Damon as she spoke. "Thanks…for um…looking out for us, for me." For a fraction of a second a small smile played on her lips but it faded away just as quickly as it appeared. _

_As Damon spoke to her, sarcasm slightly cut through the emotionless slurred tone he had been using first, he still focused his gaze at the wall however. A soft gush of air left his lips as he spoke. "That's me, the trusty body guard…calm in a crisis." His hand swept out briefly before landing back to its limp, resting against his knee position. _

_Elena instantly felt concerned and felt her brows softly furrow. He looked and sounded drunk, paired with the dejected, pained, upset and hurt filled expression already adorning his features didn't seem like a good combination for Damon. The sad look of him tugged at her heart but she wouldn't pity him, he would probably be insulted. _

_She couldn't help but feel concerned for him though, he looked sort of mismanaged if that was even the appropriate label and it was all she could come up with though. _

_Sincerity and concern she knew filled her tone as she spoke to him. "Have you been drinking?" Damon's head tilted sluggishly as he gazed at her looking unfocused._

_He was definitely drunk, very much so. _

_The very fact was proven as he held he lifted up his hand with a drunken sort of movement as he pinched his forefinger and thumb together. His eyes lazily half lidded and seemed to close at some point as his lips momentarily pursed. She figured out somehow that he was trying to indicate or convey the phrase of 'just a little' to her._

_Full force the concern and sincerity hit her and clouded her tone and worry mingled with her features. "And you're upset. That's not a good combination." _

_Those words seemed to illicit a groan and a brief roll of the eyes from him. Sarcasm carved deeper into his emotionless tone of his as he spoke. "No I'm not upset; upset is an emotion specific to those who care." _

_She didn't buy it, not a word of it. He did care and whatever had gotten to him, whatever that had hurt him this bad and she had a feeling of who was responsible…she would get him to accept he did care. _

_Disbelief and doubt pulsed in her tone as she glanced at him every so often. "C'mon Damon, that's a lie…you care." Her eyes finally rested on him with knowing sort of emotion bleeding through the brown depths._

_Elena must have said the wrong thing because Damon __looked as if he had sobered up, anger striking him seemed to fill his features and enter his body almost volatile. He looked at her with narrowed eyes and anger clouded features, his lips parted as his jaw set in defiance. _

_Her brows furrowed at his expression, she was surprised he was giving her a stare she had never received from him._

_As he spoke up great anger mingled with his words. "You're surprised that I thought you would kiss me back? You can't imagine that I'd believe you'd want to?" _

_She couldn't do this now, not this again. _

_Didn't he get it; she was with Stefan…meaning she couldn't be with him. _

_It would be wrong; she'd be just like Katherine if she did. _

_No matter how much she may have, **may**...want to be with him. _

_The simple interjection that left her lips in the form of his name was laced with pleading and warning. "Damon." _

_He didn't want to listen it seemed as he continued one. Damon's anger was growing as time passed by so quickly the very proof of it reflected in his eyes. In the cerulean depths and icy blue fire burned with an icy like fire. _

"_That what we've been doing here…means something." _

_Her body told her to leave, leave this room even if he would follow her. _

_No, she had to stay because she knew he could stop her…she wasn't sure of what he would do. He was unpredictable at the moment; he was filled with anger, hurt, pain and alcohol. _

_She averted her gaze and as he soon as the words left his mouth full of venom and almost something like malice her head snapped back to face him, her eyes locking onto his icy fire filled ones. "You're the liar Elena." _

_He rose from his spot at the foot of her bed. She saw determination expanding into the planes of his face and her heart raced slightly faster. "There is something going on between the two of us and you know it." _

_He took a step closer to her, bringing his body nearer to hers and she felt a flush of warmth at his body's nearing. "And you're lying to me and you're lying to Stefan and most of all you're lying to yourself." His face was so close to hers, involuntarily her eyes drifted quickly to his lips before focusing on his eyes with a chagrined expression etched in her face. _

_No, No, No! I can't do this. _

_I love Stefan!_

_All the venom and malice drained from his voice as he softly spoke his words to her. "I can prove it." As his face neared and inched towards her own and she felt his warm breath descend onto the flesh of her lips. Elena's heart began to race furiously as flushed warmth manifested through out her._

_A quick no left her lips instantly as Damon's fingers slid into place and his lips landed on her own, the heat inside of her exploded and intensified like some sort of heat bomb. Even as a muffled 'no' passed her lips again she felt that it was only said halfheartedly._

_It felt **so** right.  
_

_All she could think about was him, the taste of him, the feel of him. _

_It felt like they had been kissing for so long when they had actually had been kissing for a few seconds and as his lips moved pleasantly on hers, sending her body into some sort of frenzy she heard a chime in the form of a name. _

**_Stefan. _**

_Guilt poured into her and filled the pit of her stomach; she had to stop this even if her body was telling her to give in, to give into temptation…the temptation called Damon Salvatore. _

_Her hands tried to find a way to get him to move, until she finally slid them underneath his chin and conveyed for him to stop. Unexpectedly he broke away, a soft gush of air leaving his lips. Her hand still rested at the base of his neck as she spoke, pleading with him, trying to get him to stop this. _

_She would forgive him, would even forget it if he wanted to…anything if he would stop. Elena didn't want to betray Stefan, and she was feeling the guilt enter thickly and begin to cloud her mind. "Damon don't what's wrong with you?" _

_His hands slid through her hair as he leaned in, uttering a single phrase. "Lie about this." _

_She moved away and she put he hand out to tell him to stop…because she wasn't sure she could stop herself. Somewhere in her body she felt the desire to give in, give into his touch and let him kiss her, touch her. "Stop it…you're better than this c'mon!" _

_Damon still ignored her, ignoring everything except what seemed to be his goal and it showed in his words as well. "That's where you're wrong." _

_Abruptly Damon leant in again, except this time Elena caught it faster than the other times. _

_Elena intercepted it with moving her head back and placing her hand on Damon's mouth gently as the other free hand gripped his shoulder pushing him back. Elena pleaded further. "No, no, Damon. I care about you." She felt his hand weave into the tendrils of her hair as it rested against her neck. _

_She grabbed his hands keeping them in place but wrapping her fingers intricately through his as both their heads tilted slightly. "Listen to me, I care about you." Her voice grew more insistent._

_Elena needed to convince him, it was for the best…or so she told herself, it was best for **her**…for him. _

_She continued on as Damon curled his fingers to wrap around hers as he hugged them against himself by just a little. "I do but…I love Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan." She pleaded with him, concern filling her eyes she was trying to get him to realize that but as those words left her lips she knew she had said the wrong thing. _

_The fire in his eyes smoldered and then roared into a blazing fire except it was volatile. She had just witnessed something inside him break, shatter and something inside of her went cold at this piece of knowledge that she was the one that had done this, not Katherine this time._

_His face contorted in an expression of anger and hurt. _

_Her hands went cold, numbed even at this situation she felt herself in. His hands were still curled around her fingers and her eyes locked onto his gaze. She wanted to look away but it was as if she was under some sort of compulsion, her eyes were unwilling to avert their direction of sight. _

_Jeremy's wary and groggily, sleepy tone impossibly broke the spell. She turned around to face him stand just about outside of the door frame. "Elena what's going on in here?" With crossed arms he entered the room look wary._

_Elena roughly extracted her hands with a good amount of effort from his hands and looked away while answering Jeremy's question. "Nothing Jeremy, its okay just go back to bed." She ran her fingers through her hair._

_In an instant something in the air changed and a sense of foreboding pooled from her core. "No, it's not okay Elena. He wants to be a vampire."_

_As Jeremy tilted his head in wary question he the foreboding feeling increased and wouldn't be denied. _

_The air breezed whooshed past her, flinging stray tendrils into the air. Elena's head snapped up to see Damon's back facing her and only just a little of Jeremy's side and a little of his face. She saw the fear and panic screaming in his features and Damon's hand tightly wound around Jeremy's neck. _

_Panic and fear trickled into her; it clouded her mind as she could only think of Jeremy and how she could save him from Damon's lethal grasp. She knew he could just snap his neck at anytime. That same part of her wouldn't agree, wouldn't accept that he would hurt Jeremy. However something told her to disagree with that notion, Damon was unstable at the moment she could tell. _

_"No Damon don't! Stop it!" He ignored Elena's pleading and this action only made her more anxious because she was too weak to stand up to him. _

_He was the **vampire** and she the **mere, simple human**.  
_

_Every word he spoke grew more intense, he seemed to bite it out more and he only seemed to seethe more. "You want to shut out the pain? It's the easiest thing in the word, all you have to is flip the switch and…__**snap**__" As he spoke the last word a sickening snap resonated off the walls. _

_Damon!" Jeremy's limp body dropped to the ground with a thump. Everything felt like it was on mute at that point. _

_That's when something in Elena snapped and she felt her eyes burn with unshed tears began to be free. Her throat constricted and an ache in her throat pulsed uncomfortably. Elena could only cry out helplessly "__No!" Elena fell to her knees onto the ground as she cried out. _

_Shaky, ragged breaths left her lips as Jeremy's limp body slid near her. Elena practically almost slumped against Jeremy's form; instead her hands gripped him to keep her near him. As footsteps drifted to her ears and her eyes lifted with tears beginning to visibly water her eyes she just gave Damon a look, a glare full of hurt and anger and betrayal because its what she was feeling in the moment.  
_

_She hated what he had done to make her feel this way towards him. As she gazed further into his eyes a sense of shock passed through her. In Damon's eyes she thought she saw regret and something slightly volatile as well but she wasn't sure because he quickly left. _

_With a shaky snap the world grounded and became unmuted as something glinted at her from Jeremy's hand. Slowly she leaned over and brought Jeremy's hand over, her eyes landed on the ring. Her breaths quieted ever so slightly even though sniffles still left her._

_The glint of the ring caught her eye and made her focus more into the design and intricate symbols embellished into the familiar ring. Relief washed over her as she recognized the ring to be the same magic ring that Alaric wore. _

_Bringing him close, she cradled Jeremy's head onto her shoulder huddling herself against his limp form. His body provided some sibling comfort towards her, because she felt all alone at the moment. _

_She wanted to call Stefan but she couldn't, she wouldn't leave Jeremy alone for a second…she wanted to be by his side until he awoke._

_So minutes passed by in silence while Elena waited and waited for someone…more in particular Stefan to show up. _

_Elena, got her wish because Stefan appeared with a whoosh of air and when she glanced at the side she saw his form and his eyes trained on Jeremy. She just gave him a silent stare that conveyed the one who had done this. 'Damon' _

_Stefan spoke up, with a thoughtful tone. "He saw the ring that's why he did it, he knew." _

_With a sort of scratchy, tone Elena spoke up, absently stroking her brother's tresses as she looked far away. "He didn't see the ring."_

_Stefan sounded upset as he spoke back to her. "It's Katherine, she got under his skin…she undid everything that was good about him." _

_Elena with a mix of sobs and tears seeping into her tone retorted back. "There's nothing good about him Stefan…" _

_She shook her head as she spoke, continuing on. "Not anymore, he's decided what he wants…he doesn't want to feel, he wants to be hated, it's just easier that way." _

_Elena felt her eyes burn and silent sobs began to fill her tone. "He's got his wish…" _

_This time, the sobs consumed her words fully and she felt something inside of her begin to crack as she spoke. "I hate him Stefan." Tears spilled from her eyes in gentle rivulets. In that instant the warmth, the comfort she needed was at her side. She felt a light, soft kiss at her shoulder and hugged Jeremy closer using him as another anchor of comfort as well as Stefan._

_The minutes seemed to drag out as she awaited for him to awake but when he did she had to admit she was frightened even if for a little.  
_

_Jeremy jolted awake in her arms, causing her heart to practically skip a beat out of surprise. He gasped uncontrollably and was almost at the level of flailing while the two were trying to hold the disoriented younger Gilbert._

_Panicking words tumbled from her lips. "Is he okay?" She said the words twice and Stefan answered her back as he checked Jeremy and confirmed he was indeed okay._

_A single sentence passed Jeremy's gasping lips, his voice shook as he stumbled and stuttered the words. "He killed me, Damon killed me…" All Elena could and wanted to do was to hold Jeremy close to her. _

_The lines blurred at that point._

_

* * *

_Elena began to sniffle and grip the bed sheets she was wrapped up haphazardly in. Stefan had offered to stay with her, but she had declined because she needed to be alone.

She didn't want Stefan to see her like this over Damon. It would only serve to make her feel guilty over Stefan somehow finding a way to put some of the blame she knew was hers onto himself. Thinking now she had the inclination that maybe she had been to forceful, however she had no other way to tell him what she had to believe and stick with as the truth.

She couldn't love Damon…if she gave in so easily she'd be like _Katherine. _

Her mind seemed to want deny her request to forget what had happened because the kiss kept replaying in her mind. The feel of his lips caressing her own with warm softness, his kiss had set something off in her, the taste of him done something to her. Elena felt warmth pool from her core and spill into her and envelope her.

The sweet feeling was shattered because with the pleasant memory of the kiss, the memory of Damon snapping Jeremy's neck returned to send added chills and shivers done her spine. She felt the chills lick across her skin, down her back like a cold fire. The hurt returned like a raging fire as she huddled into the fetal position, covers flung over her head as she lay there and let the tears silently spill in the dark of the night.

She couldn't deny it, she was a mess…but she couldn't deny that Damon was in any of a better condition.

She wanted to scream, yell…her life had been constantly spinning out of control and when she thought she had solace something or someone went and shook things up.

Elena remembered when it had been Stefan, just Stefan...there had been definite wariness but she had felt safe, secure almost.

Then when Damon had appeared she had to admit she had been curious and found him physically appealing but that's where the line had ended.

However later on she found herself bonding with him through some strong friendship bond that is until like a freight train hit her, her feelings changed. She didn't know what those feelings were, if it was more based on physical attraction or actual genuine mix of the real and the physical.

She was _so_ confused. She knew she loved Stefan but she wasn't sure about Damon and at the moment she didn't want to be, she didn't know what she would do if she had actually fallen fully for the cerulean eyed devil.

With that thought a mental picture of those eyes that sucked her in conjured up the memories of the kiss.

_No!_

She needed just a moment's peace, she needed sleep or she felt like she would break, snap…even go out of her mind.

Gripping the sheets she shut her eyes and shut off her mind from the pain, frustration, confusion and the hurt.

As she felt it drain away from her, tears softly streaming down her face as her expression fell slack from sleep's seductive grasp.

This is what she needed, this solace.

One word crossed her mind just before she was fully dragged under the Sandman's hold.

_Damon. _

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note: Hope this wasn't too corny or too cheesy or what not.**

**Anyways I am thinking of adding in another bit or another chapter.  
**


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